The world is watching, White America.
FIGHT TERRORISM, STOP COPS.
I have no idea what I’m doing here.
I feel like I am wasting time and money.
I compare myself to all these people who are all competing for grades and jobs.
The problem is I don’t have a goal.
When my goal was law school I had something to work for.
And that’s it.
I think my life can end now.
Because simply surviving is a pretty sad goal.
So what on earth do I want.
I doubt that I can have it all.
And that’s an issue.
I just want to wake up and want to do what I do.
ha im a piece of trash
As someone who cares deeply about the environment, I am obligated to pick you up.
Is seven okay?
you smooth fucker
- (via r2—d2)
there is a loneliness in this world so great
that you can see it in the slow movement of
the hands of a clock.
people so tired
either by love or no love.
people just are not good to each other
one on one.
the rich are not good to the rich
the poor are not good to the poor.
we are afraid.
our educational system tells us
that we can all be
it hasn’t told us
about the gutters
or the suicides.
or the terror of one person
aching in one place
watering a plant."
- Charles Bukowski (via kushandwizdom)
Teacher: Sit down until the bell rings
About last night..
when I didn’t come home,
when I sent you the text the moment I made a decision that I was not going to return home,
I didn’t have sex.
I actually did absolutely nothing, with any of the men or women I ran into.
I talked to people:
like the 47 year old french man that captivated my heart with his crows feet,
and Josh the cute photograph retoucher that I had genuine interest in because he wasn’t there for quick gratification and attention.
and smoked….because I find cigarettes to be little works of art
and laughed as much as I could.
I was young.
Like you once were.
someone asked me if I wanted to stay at their place.
And I went.
And even though I was anxious that he would expect something to happen,
I trusted myself to allow nothing to happen;
at least nothing I wouldn’t want.
So, when I slept next to him in his bed,
after my multiple drunk texts questioning,
the comfiness of his sheets and fluffiness of his pillows, we talked.
About the gym…since he is obsessed with it,
well actually….we talked about how he only goes for show,
and how I think hes a princess,
and how he likes it likes it,
we feel asleep,
cautious not to invade the other one’s space.
Homeboy even gave me shorts in case I was uncomfortable in just boxers.
Dear Mom and Dad,
If you simply asked me,
I’d explain why at 4am I didn’t want to treck home to Queens,
about how coming home at certain hours strikes a certain fear in me,
about how I felt unsatisfied with the evening and wanted to share in the company of this kid who baffles and confuses me,
because he keeps his read receipts on,
and eats copious amounts of protein,
and gets slightly offended because hes still learning to deal with ‘east coast’ humor,
and how I don’t really have a crush on him or anything but I kind of low-key enjoy his company.
Dear Mom & Dad,
I’m kind of damaged,
but I’m pretty normal…
if normal has a norm.
I know its hard to accept…me,
but, don’t let the past month of
laughter and growth go down the drain because you assume I did something you find ‘sinful’.
Dear Mom & Dad,
I came out because I didn’t want to hide,
because I always told you everything else when you asked,
because I was tired of hiding myself.
So just fucking ask me already because
the day will come where I actually stay out and fuck my brains out… and believe me, you will actually KNOW.
Purely because I tend to smile a little more consistently on those days.
I looked back to what I wrote a year ago.
I’m grateful for time.
I’m grateful for growth.